Marriage Talk
When it comes to marriage counseling, some problems that couples face need to be dealt with by a qualified professional. As a minister of the gospel, my instruction on Christian marriage is strictly from a scriptural point of view. I am not a doctor, lawyer, or psychologist.
When a couple comes to the pastor for marriage counsel they’re asking for them to provide instruction on what to do to help heal their problem. They expect the pastor to take sides, to tell their spouse how wrong they are. Only to be disappointed when the instruction is for them to spend more time praying together. If a couple will not pray, then it is unlikely they will listen to the pastor’s Christian counsel on any matters. Christian Biblical Counseling is built upon the foundation that both parties are Christian, and that both parties desire a marriage that honors God, and honors one another as God’s people.
I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 11:29, where Paul addressed the church’s improper use of the Lord’s Supper ceremony. Members of the church were bringing food from home to the assembly place. The members that brought food, ate, and the members what were without went hungry. Paul instructed that partaking of the Lord’s Supper should be in remembrance of the Lord’s death. He warned them that by partaking of the Lord’s Supper unworthily, they would bring damnation upon themselves, including death. His point was that every member of the church is a member of the Lord’s Body, to mistreat the Lord’s members is a failure to discern that they belong to the Body of Christ. Failing to do so would be partaking of the Lord’s Supper unworthily.
When two Christians marry, they are marrying members of the Body of Christ. They should be honored, and revere one another as people of God. The husband must discern that the woman that he’s marrying is God’s daughter, which God has placed in his care. The wife must discern that God has placed His son into her care. We cannot mistreat God’s people because we’re married to them.
The bible provides many lessons for developing healthy relationships that can be applied to marriage. It is important to learn to accept the person that you’ve married for who they are.
1 Samuel 25:3-35, records the account of a man named Nabal and his wife, Abigail. Nabal had disrespected David’s men. When David heard of it, he commanded his men to take their swords, and pursue after Nabal. A young man witnessing what had occurred, ran to warn Abigail of David’s pursuit. Without telling her husband, Abigail quickly gathered food, hoping that it would appease David, and mounted a horse so as to intercept David and his men. When Abigail encountered David and his men, she got down from her horse, bowed at David’s feet, and began to plead with him. She told David, do not pay any attention to her husband, he’s a fool. His name means fool, and he has lived up to his name. David received Abigail’s gift, and sent her in peace, having had mercy on Nabal’s house.
Abigail married a foolish man. Her quick response demonstrated that she had experience at running interference for her husband’s foolishness. It was a required to be married to Nabal. Based on the fact that the young man came to Abigail to report to what Nabal had done to David’s men, I believe that Abigail probably had people giving her report when Nabal acted foolish so that you she could respond. It was a required to be married to Nabal.
Abigail didn’t try to change her husband, she accepted that she had married a fool, and she knew how to address his foolishness.
Whatever weaknesses, quirks or strange behaviors that identify the individuals being married, learning how to deal with their strangeness will be a requirement.